How Turning 40 Changed My Relationship with Alcohol
My Personal Journey Through to More Mindful Drinking
I'm sure I'm not the only one here who has started to re-examine the way they drink, especially if you’re approaching or over 40. Lately, I have found I’m changing the way I drink and think about alcohol.
While the beer feels delicious on my palate, it doesn’t settle well into my system. I’m starting to dislike the way alcohol feels in my body. If you are anywhere past 30, then you know exactly what I mean. Hangovers go from mere annoyances to completely wrecking your day or maybe two. The older I get, the more negative the consequences I experience.
GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL
As a newly 21 year-old adult, I gravitated to spirits, and then wine, and beer eventually came into my life and completely changed it. Before I became a serious beer drinker, I had the occasional drink, and if I’m honest, often too much when in social settings.
When I started focusing on craft beer, my alcohol consumption increased and became more frequent and consistent. This increase in drinking also coincided with falling in love with sharing my beers on Instagram. I remember seeking out single cans of the latest and greatest—whatever was hot on the streets—it was all about the hunt and chase. What was new? What new styles could I try? And because I was posting online, I needed variety.
That mindset came to a halt during the pandemic. Sometimes I forget how scary those early days were. Casually browsing the many shelves, reading the labels, and looking up reviews on Untappd didn’t feel like the best option when there was an incurable, potentially deadly virus on the loose. I wanted to get in and out, and reaching for a six-pack from a reliable brand became my go-to. Because who wanted to end up with six duds? My beer purchases became less about exploring what was out there and more about enjoying a beverage I love.
I started enjoying the same beer repeatedly, pairing it with different situations and foods. Since making that change, I have pretty much stuck to that. I’ve only occasionally returned to my pre-pandemic buying habits.
This shift in how I bought also started to affect what I bought. When before I didn’t mind buying one can of whatever fruited sour was currently popular on the Instagram streets, I realized I didn’t want an entire four- or six-pack of the stuff.
Instead, I found myself gravitating towards more classic styles instead of some of the shock-and-awe beers that everyone seemed to be pumping out. I realized I didn’t want or need to drink six of those beers.
I wanted beers that were more versatile, delicious, and gentle on my palate. Sessionable lagers and pilsners along with American and West Coast IPA became my beers of choice.
SHE DOESN'T DRINK LIKE SHE USED TO
Now, I’m in another season of shifting the way I drink. While I love drinking a cocktail in a swanky bar, exploring the taplist of my local brewery, or savoring a slightly chilled rosé in the summer, I find myself reaching for alcohol less and less these days.
If you’ve seen me out and about with a beverage in hand, it’s quite possible I was holding a hop water instead of beer. After tasting my first hop water, it quickly became my alcohol substitute of choice over N/A beers or mocktails.
When I was in Belgium, probably with a belly full of lambic, I started to seriously consider reducing my alcohol consumption and even taking a break from drinking altogether. The week before Belgium, I was at the Craft Brewers Conference and tried to make a concerted effort not to overconsume, which I shared with you here. These feelings have been brewing for a little while now.
While incredible, my trip to Belgium included A LOT of drinking. Even though I knew a break would be beneficial, I couldn’t help but have a great deal of guilt about it. I work in the beer industry, which is currently struggling right now. Plus, alcohol is at the center of what I do. But I had a friend, who also works in beer, share that she realized that she doesn’t have to drink beer to do her job. It made me think about the work I do and how it doesn’t necessarily rely on drinking beer.
When I worked in a brewery, I needed to evaluate the beer to create tasting notes and be able to properly talk about what we were offering, but even then, I wasn’t required to consume an entire beer. Just a quick taste would be enough to gather all the information I needed to write about the beer.
Currently, my work doesn’t heavily rely on me drinking beer to bring revenue into my business. Instead drinking has become more of a social networking aspect of my job, but not a necessity.
DOWNSHIFTING MY DRINKING
I don’t want any of this to come off as if I’m preaching or being judgmental. This is more about my health and body than how much anyone else drinks. Though, I agree that the beer industry has an overconsumption problem, and I have to wonder what this mild poison is doing to our bodies.
Ultimately, when I think about my life in my 70s and 80s, if I’m fortunate enough to live that long, I want to live fully, and heavy drinking doesn’t align with that vision.
When I landed back in Atlanta from my time in beautiful Belgium, I started my sober-curious journey by abstaining from alcohol for a few weeks. It was a much needed break after two straight days of drinking lambics. Though I didn’t expect my craving for sugar to increase tenfold, and I found myself doing everything I could to resist the urge to drown myself in a vat of chocolate. I was so grateful when the cravings subsided.
Since May, I’ve drastically cut back on my drinking, and it’s been much easier than I expected. Instead of adopting strict rules, I keep things pretty loose. Usually, I restrict my drinking to the weekends unless there’s something like a beer release during the week that I want to check out.
When I do drink, I strive to consume one to two drinks, which can be tough in social situations. I can point to many times when I've been out with friends, especially if we work in beer, where consuming four or five drinks was so commonplace that it didn’t raise any alarm bells. Doesn’t cause anyone to say, “Hey, maybe, we’ve had too much.”
So, instead I’m having that internal conversation with myself. It just takes more mindfulness. The easiest social situations to navigate are the ones where a drink isn’t the main reason why I’m there, like meeting up with a friend to share a meal. In the past, I have reached for a drink in these situations, but now I usually abstain from alcohol.
But nothing is as difficult as beer festivals and anniversary parties. I happen to be attending a festival tomorrow and have no idea what that experience will look like for me, but again, this is why I don’t have strict rules. It’s very likely that I’m going to drink way more than two beers, but I’m OK with that. As long as I’m enjoying myself and as long as over-consumption doesn’t become a regular occurrence again.
I’ve come up against a similar situation when attending a friend's birthday last month. I made the conscious decision to drink, and I had a blast dancing the night away while the alcohol numbed all the stress in my body. Y’all, July had me STRESSED.
I haven't dived into non-alcohol beers or mocktails, and I'm not sure that I will. I’m not someone who necessarily needs to replace beer with a non-alcoholic version. I know that there are some great options out there today, but when I am abstaining from alcohol, I don't really feel the need to replace it with something that is similar to alcohol. I also feel the same way about meat substitutes. If I want to eat meat, I will eat meat, but if I want something vegetarian, I don't necessarily need a meat-like substitute.
Now, if I really want a beer during the week, I have no problem drinking a beer and have no trouble sticking to one. That level of flexibility feels good to me and has made this new adventure feel even more doable.
Since cutting back on drinking, I’ve felt really great, which was evident when I found myself drinking more than usual last week to celebrate my husband’s birthday. Not wanting him to drink alone, we enjoyed drinks almost everyday last week, but I quickly found myself looking forward to getting back to my regular sober-curious routine.
It helps that I know other people who work in beer and the beverage industry as a whole that have also cut back on their drinking. I look to them for inspiration. Because of them, I know it’s possible.
At first, I hesitated to share this journey with y’all. When you let people into your life, you open the door for positive, but also negative responses. But I wanted to share this because I have benefited from having other people share their journey with me. So if you find yourself thinking about cutting back on how much you drink, come on, it's not that bad over here.
What's Good
I used to love making complicated cocktails, but these days I’m keeping it simple, and this Gold Rush Cocktail fits the bill.
Great advice on how brewers can differentiate in 2024
The importance of hospitality to the community and what it looks like to rebuild
Finally, a little respect for hazies courtesy of Courtney Iseman
Thank you for reading!
Until next time,
Stephanie
About me: I'm Stephanie Grant, a born-and-bred ATLien and the writer behind this newsletter. I’m also a content creator for the food and beverage industry and one of the hosts of the award-winning Good Beer Hunting podcast. In 2023, I launched The Share Community, a digital space for women and non-binary people of color who want to advance their career in the beer industry. You can also find more of my work on YouTube and Instagram.
So honest… appreciated
Thank you so much for this post! I think you are speaking to a big but probably silent or hesitant group of people, especially those of us who are directly tied to alcohol industries.
I no longer work in craft beer but while there for three years I found the "work hard play hard" mindset was at full steam and I was around lot of unhealthy habits that were generally accepted as normal. That rolled into my personal life- taking home low fills, going out for after-shift drinks, the insanity of the Christmas party, etc. I love craft beer, I love going to tasting rooms, but now that I'm in my thirties I'm starting to re-examine my relationship with alcohol, and especially beer. It's hard and it's fraught and it makes me feel weird but it's an ongoing conversation with myself and my boundaries. I've loved your writing for a long time, and I really appreciate you opening doors with these sorts of conversations. (Also, YES to hop water! Here in Canada very few places have them on hand in lieu of alcohol and it drives me nuts.)